It doesn't pay to give your child everything...

I totally agree with you Colin. You see too many kids growing up with everything given to them by their parents with no expectation of them to earn it.

Children need to learn at an early age, not so much the value of money, but the value and gratification of saving. Even if it begins with giving them a dollar (or $20 in some cases I've heard!) for their weekly allowance they should be doing something to earn it (whether it's taking out the garbage, vacuuming the house, doing dishes, etc.).

That's the only way to pass on the basic skills of saving to them so that they can build on that when they are adults.

Yeah, opinions are unanimous so far!

I agree because I'm the product of having been given everything I asked for whenever my Mum and Dad could afford it ... and frankly, though I'm grateful for their love and generosity, I regret never having learned how to manage money .. I'm in my 50's now, and still find it very hard to spend and save sensibly, and have had many sleepless nights worrying about finances.

I think a lot of unhappiness in adult life could be spared by teaching children financial skills.

I think I'll need to take your advise as my 5 year old gets a toy most weekends and the next day he wants another. He doesn't understand that we don't have an endless pot of money. At what age should I be getting him to earn money for little jobs? I think he would have been too young before.

i am not really in a position to give my children everything they ask for or think they really really need but they understand that and are aware that everything they want costs money and that in order for them to get the things they actually do need i have to save up. they both have their own savings accounts and money is paid in regularly and they know that when they are old enough they will be able to spend it on something useful. my eldest, age 5 is saving for a green car with a sunroof and electric windows, maybe that will change by the time he is actually old enough but i think he is learning that its best to save for something you want rather than get it an pay later?

young kids only think they need these material things. one major way of stopping this "want" trend is to not let them watch too much tv, and if you do, keep them away from adverts. get them dvds or get them computer literate, its more interactive and develops their minds far more

my sons only 18 months and iv spoilt him rotten since he was born everything i think hel enjoy i buy but it is leaving me pennyless at the end of the week being a single 20 yr old mum on benifits dont help iv got to learn to say no and to say no to myself

I have 3 children and I've never done this, I promised myself I wouldn't when my first child was born. I sometimes think that other parents think I"m mean or horrible to my kids. I don't buy them things all the time. They have spending money of their own, so if they want anythign, they have to use their own money. Now and again we will buy them something for a treat or for a particular reason.. good report at school, or that kind of thing.

Luckily my eldest is really good, he doesn't ask for that much and even if he does, he doesn't often get it. It's difficult in that his birthday is October and Christmas isn't far off.
Same s my middle child, her birthday is January. So throughout the year it is difficult not to get them anything... but they generally have their own money to buy some things.

I'm not averse to saying no, but sometimes I feel like I say it too much.

I deliberately don't take any money out with me when I pick them up from school. We pass a newsagents where most of the kids hound their parents for money for sweets or trading cards and end up getting it. Mine usually don't bother asking now as they know I say no anyway or Idon't have money.

I'm hoping that I am teaching them that they can't always get what they want for nothing. I'm finding it more difficult with my middle child and I've no idea how the youngest will be as he gets older.

It isn't easy doing it, but I dont' recall getting a lot of things when I was younger either.

However... my partner had nothing when he was younger, single parent family and a lot of debt problems.. when he started earning his own money, his mum was taking the majority of it from him, leaving him enough for a bus pass to get to work, money for his lunches and a bit of spare change to spend!
When he met me, he left home and was able to keep what he was earning, other than paying rent on our flat and the bills.... but our first christmas together.. he went overboard buying anything he could for me when I didn't want him to, but because he could or thought he could.. he made the huge mistake of using a catalogue... thus taking us down the good old debt route16 years ago.... we're still there!!!... not all from that particular episode,but it was the start... therefore I'm not so sure that having nothing in his case as a child really helped?.. just hope I am.

Yvonne

i agree as well i'm on a low income & have two daughters and most times we were out shopping they were get something small wether sweets small toy etc ...

i sat down one day and added it up what i was spending on just the one daughter

and shocked that i was spending £30+ on things they didn't really need or only eat half off and the rest was thrown in the bin

i have now cut it down and put some of it in a savings account

If you give an alcoholic a couple of whiskeys, then they're going to want more and more. If you give tham a bottle they'll over do it and expect you to do it again. Kids are similarly addicted to toys, presents, treats etc, so if you wouldn't feed an alcoholic drink, or a drug addict drugs, then why feed you child's addiction? It does far more damage than the few minutes of appreciation you get. Let's face it, half the time you only give them things to make yourself feel good. Think long term, feel good for longer.

Im fortunate in the fact that my son isnt one of those children who want things in shops. In fact everytime we go into co-op he wants an apple and doesnt even look at the sweets which i dont mind at all! He rarely moans in shops for toys and i hope im bringing him up to realise you cant have everything you want

Growing up I had one main best friend and we did everything together but she always seemed to get more than me - her parents would buy her stuff all the time. I used to be really jealous and ask why I couldn't have the same etc and I was always told to ask for it for my birthday/christmas etc.

As a result of how she got everything when she was younger, she has now run up huge credit card debts as has been spending way beyond what her disposable income could handle.

She has adopted the same attitude as she did back then - her parents will pay. Unfortunately it has been a shock for her, as they wouldn't help her out. (We are both at any age where we wouldn't expect our parents too) I have since found out that her parents are having money problems so it goes to show that getting everything as and when you are younger doesn't always make for good money sense in the future! Obviously this isn't the case for everyone, but in terms of my friends, she was the one who stamped her feet and got the most and is now the only one of us in serious debt.